Upuzi

PRESIDENT’S MOVIE DEAL

President Obama to star in reboot of famous series.

2013: 05/13
CATEGORY: Political Comment
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ILLINOIS TO SECEDE

Several weeks ago former action movie star Jackie Chan called the United States the most corrupt nation in the world.

Last year a well-publicized analysis found Illinois to be the third-most corrupt state in the nation.

Feeling that Illinois was not getting enough credit for its contribution to the overall corruptness of the nation, the Democrats that control the State, and therefore the corruption, have taken the first steps toward removing Illinois from the United States. After the process is completed, Illinois will be recognized as the most corrupt nation in the world.

The current democratic process of ‘electing’ public officials will replaced with a monarchy headed by Representative Mike Madigan. Once he dies, the crown will pass to his daughter Lisa, who has been ‘Ruler in waiting’ for the last twelve years.

Since Illinois has no valuable natural resources, and since the latest Democratic tax grab has caused corporations to leave the State in droves, Illinois will leverage its position as a transportation hub to fund the State’s budget.

All roads leading into and out from the Illinois will have toll booths. Likewise every train will be stopped at Illinois’ borders to pay entrance and exit fees. Although airport ‘landing fees’ already exist, a new ‘departure fee’ will be charged at every airport in the State.

King Madigan has decreed that the following new laws will be instituted once Illinois becomes a country:

All political parties other than the Democrats will be prohibited from holding office.

Political corruption will be condoned.
Judges will be appointed based on political clout; not merit.
A percentage of all bribes/kickbacks/etc. will be donated to the royal treasury. Such money will be doled out to the King’s friends as the King sees fit.
Any laws initiated by anyone other than the King or his advisers will be sent through numerous committees, languishing until the King deems that sufficient funds have been deposited into the royal treasury.
Every citizen will become an employee of the kingdom, with a constitutionally guaranteed pension. Actual work will not be required.
The current $90 billion un-funded pension plan balance will disappear thanks to Illinois’ issuance of its own currency.

A spokesman for the King has stated that the public will not notice much change.

2013: 02/27
CATEGORY: Uncategorized
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VADER SUES US GOVERNMENT

Government watchdog group demands that elected officials return salaries.

2012: 11/01
CATEGORY: Political Comment
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BPA ENDORSES OBAMA

Industry trade group endorses President Obama.

2012: 10/26
CATEGORY: Political Comment
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DEMS BAMBOOZLE VOTERS – AGAIN

Illinois Democratic Party plans on switching candidates after election.

2012: 10/23
CATEGORY: Political Comment
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Mister Legal vs. Mister Illegal

You have two families: “Mister Legal” and “Mister Illegal”.

Mister Legal works in construction has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted.

Mister Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash “under the table”.

Ready? Now pay attention….

Mister Legal: $25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00 per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Mister Legal now has $31,231.00.

Mister Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.00 pe year. Mister Illegal pays no taxes. Mister Illegal now has $31,200.00.

Mister Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Mister Legal now has $24,031.00.

Mister Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics and emergency hospitals at a cost of $0.00 per year. Mister Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Mister Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Mister Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per year. Mister Legal now has $18,031.00.

Mister Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps, WIC and welfare. Mister Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Mister Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Mister Legal now has $9,631.00.

Mister Illegal receives a $500.00 per month Federal Rent Subsidy. Mister Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. Mister Illegal still has $ 31,200.00.

Mister Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for car insurance. Some of that is uninsured motorist insurance. Mister Legal now has $7,231.00.

Mister Illegal says, “We don’t need no stinkin’ insurance!” and still has $31,200.00.

Mister Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc..

Mister Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month.

Mister Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work.

Mister Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.

Mister Legal’s and Mister Illegal’s children both attend the same elementary school. Mister Legal pays for his children’s lunches, while Mister Illegal’s children get a government sponsored lunch. Mister Illegal’s children have an after school ESL program. Mister Legal’s children go home.

Now, when they reach college age, Mister Legal’s kids may not get into a State School and may not qualify for scholarships, grants or other tuition help, even though Mister Legal has been paying for State Schools through his taxes, while Mister Illegal’s kids “go to the head of the class” because they are a minority.

Mister Legal and Mister Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Mister Legal paid for them and Mister Illegal did not.

*******************************************************

Do you get it, now?

Who are you voting for in November?

2012: 09/20
CATEGORY: Political Comment
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OBAMA ORDERS FAN ALLEGIANCE

On the heels of his Supreme Court victory allowing him to force everyone to buy health insurance from his politically connected friends (that’s how they do things in Chicago) President Obama has today issued Presidential Order 12-438382533 requiring everyone in the country to become fans of the Chicago White Sox. A clause in the order requires everyone over the age of six to wear a White Sox shirt or jersey whenever appearing in public.

Religious institutions which require its followers to cover their heads, such as Orthodox Judaism, must change their beliefs and require a White Sox baseball cap instead.

Anyone violating this order will be subject to a five hundred dollar Sox tax. This tax will double for each repeat offense. Habitual violators will be subject to prison. While the order does not specify what this tax will be used for, speculation has been made that it will be split the Chicago way: fifty percent to the President and fifty percent to the White Sox. The White Sox would presumably use their portion to buy every free agent on the market (see New York Yankees).

Not surprisingly, the hot air over this order has been split among party lines. Republicans have been saying that the President has over-stepped his power, even calling the order another step down the socialist path, whose first steps were taken by FDR. The Democrats are solidly behind the President, even those who represent districts/states with Major League Baseball teams. As a spokesman for Nancy Pelosi said:

Why is everyone so upset? The Supreme Court ruled that the government has the right to tax. Besides, this is nothing compared to what the Democratic Party has planned if we retain control of the White House and Senate, and can reclaim the House.

2012: 07/17
CATEGORY: Political Comment
Sports
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For Duty And Humanity

PRESIDENT’S MOVIE DEAL

ILLINOIS TO SECEDE

VADER SUES US GOVERNMENT

BPA ENDORSES OBAMA

DEMS BAMBOOZLE VOTERS – AGAIN

Mister Legal vs. Mister Illegal

OBAMA ORDERS FAN ALLEGIANCE

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