Archive for the ‘ Science and Technology ’ Category

ATHEIST SCHISM

Disagreement over dogma causes group to split into two branches[ READ MORE ]

FAVRE PROMOTES IPHONE4

Retired (maybe) quarterback to appear in a series of commercials[ READ MORE ]

PASTA MAKERS FIGHT OBESITY

The nation’s pasta makers have agreed to changes in its products to help fight the growing concern over obesity[ READ MORE ]

CHINA BESTS BP

China out to prove that it will not take a back seat to British Petroleum (BP)[ READ MORE ]

WEATHER BRIBERY

Did the Weather Website purposefully modify the weather forecast for a community[ READ MORE ]

GORE GRABS GLACIERS

Creator of the Internet and former Vice President Al Gore is a person of interest in the disappearance of two glaciers from Glacier National Park[ READ MORE ]

CENTENARIAN DIES AFTER OBAMA SPEECH

Joseph Melbun, the United States’ oldest citizen has died at 125 years old after listening to a speech by President Obama. According to his wife Aimee, “We were sitting at the kitchen table listening to the tv and playing cribbage. The President was on the news praising the double-dealing that was required to get the [ READ MORE ]

SESAME STREET DISEASE

Dr. Sampson Stultify, Professor of Behavioral Sciences at Wells-Fargo State University, has proved a direct correlation between watching Sesame Street and Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Courtesy of a generous federal government grant, Dr. Stultify has surveyed sixty million people between the ages of sixteen and ninety. The survey included questions about television viewing habits in [ READ MORE ]

CYBERSECURITY CZAR

Following the trend in the information technology industry, President Obama has decided to outsource the position of Cybersecurity Czar. The stated duties of this position are to protect the computer networks vital to both the national security of the United States and the global economy. However, under President Obama’s economic advisors, this position has turned [ READ MORE ]

TARP FOR SENATORS

President Obama has authorized the United States Treasury Department to release millions of dollars from the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) to Senators Kent Conrad (D-ND) and Chris Dodd (D-CT) to payoff existing mortgages. Both influential Senators are under investigation by the Senate Ethics Committee for the “special” deals they received on mortgages issued from [ READ MORE ]

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